69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize