Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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