what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
