As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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