you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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