I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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