Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
