I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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