I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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