Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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