office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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