So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
