Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
