Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
