I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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