How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
