That's intense
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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