Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
