we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
