so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
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He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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