whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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