I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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