So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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