I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
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I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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