Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
