All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
NoShamevember. You game?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
