My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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