Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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