When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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