: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
