How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
