he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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