She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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