the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
