like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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