So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i came on her dog
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
