We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
