I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I think people are normalizing furries
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
