You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
