does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
