you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
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