If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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