She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize