Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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