They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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