i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
