I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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