Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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