Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
