im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I supernannyed him into submission
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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