She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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