I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
