I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
