My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
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and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
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I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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