Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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