He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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