Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
