Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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