so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
