My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
