I heard we made out
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize