She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
